What if
by koishii2
Summary: …Rukawa has FINALLY seen Haruko as a girl, and not as a kid, or a thing…or something…but Haruko is on the verge of FORGETTING Rukawa…? And what if …It’s now Rukawa who’s chasing after her……and being the oblivious kind of girl she is, she


What if.  
  
.Rukawa has FINALLY seen Haruko as a girl, and not as a kid, or a thing.or something.  
  
.but Haruko is on the verge of FORGETTING Rukawa.?  
  
What if.  
  
.It's now Rukawa that's chasing after her.  
  
.being the oblivious kind of girl she is, she does not sense Rukawa's newfound liking to her?...  
  
  
  
What if. Fic by Koishii RuHaru, no rating yet, PG,GP,whatever. semi-Darkfic/Angst, romance.well, not really. I don't know, no plot really. It's just a what if. The romance stuff will be later on. Let's make Rukawa suffer first! Hehehe For anyone who liked Rukawa with Haruko, and for Pete's sake, let's give the other characters a love life! The other people's life will mostly be told through Haruko's journal as seen in Haruko's eyes.this story revolves around Haruko and Rukawa, obviously. The tensai Koishii wrote this fic instead of doing this project that's due the next day. She was bored with biology, and so she did chemistry instead. //This is thoughts// and 'this is journal/diary entries'  
  
~H.A.R.U.K.O.~  
  
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!" Haruko screamed through her pillow. She was at home, in her nice, cozy room doing her homework. As usual, her mind was wandering. Thinking of a boy with the tsumetai aoi me, the boy who would never, EVER, return her feelings. On normal days she would be just fine thinking of him. She would daydream of him FINALLY approaching her, talking to her.. but today, she felt sick. She felt tired. And she felt angry.  
  
"ENOUGH!!" she screamed once more. "Why can't he like me? Why can't he be normal? Why can't I stop myself from liking him? Why??!! Why????!!!!"  
  
All through the night, muffled screams and sobs were heard coming from her room, her brother and parents repeatedly tried to ask her what's wrong through closed doors, but alas, no answer came.  
  
A few minutes after her tantrum, she stood up, and went over to her study table. She picked up a thick, large, worn out notebook, with various magazine cutouts for cover, and opened it. It was her diary, her journal since she was 11 years old. It was given to her by her parents, and since she loved writing, she happily filled its pages with her thoughts.  
  
She turned to a blank page.  
  
'March 8th.  
  
I've had enough. I've just had enough. Rukawa-kun would never be mine. When will I stop this dream? This lie? I've had enough of him. All he ever cares about is basketball. He's so selfish, so cold, so distant, and I really had enough. I've had a crush on him since Junior High. He's so cold back then.but then again, he's still so cold. And I think this one-track love is about to end. I hate him, and I hate his guts.  
  
But then again, I hate myself for hating him.'  
  
//What am I saying? This has got to end! Rukawa will never be mine! I should stop my dreaming. I should get over with it, and go on with my life!// She thought to herself, as she was having an inner battle. She bent down on her notes and continued writing:  
  
'Today is the last day of my infatuation to Rukawa. I will stop this nonsense this very minute. Tomorrow he'll be nothing to me. Nothing.'  
  
And with that final word, she closed her journal, replaced it on her table, turned off the lights and slept a dreamless sleep.  
  
N.E.X.T. D.A.Y.  
  
"Ohayo, Haruko-chan!" her two friends said as she stepped out of the train. Fuji and Matsui always goes by the train station to pick Haruko up, and from there, the three of them all go to school together.  
  
"Ohayo, you two," She replied rather cheerfully. In fact, it's too cheerful it sounded fake. Too fake that her friends noticed it.  
  
"Ne, is something wrong Haruko?" Fuji asked, worried etched in her face. Haruko looked at her, and forced herself to smile. She shook her head.  
  
"Ie, Fuji, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired." Haruko said. They continued walking.  
  
All through the way to school Haruko was unusually quiet. Matsui and Fuji are both puzzled with their friend's behavior.  
  
//She isn't like her today. Something is wrong.// Matsui thought. 'Ah, here goes Rukawa, I'm sure Haruko-chan will be back to normal when she sees him bike past us.' She nudged Fuji and tilted her head in Rukawa's direction. Fuji, in turn, nudged Haruko.  
  
"Haruko, there goes Rukawa, dozing off by his bike. See?" But when the two looked at their friend, they expected to see Haruko to change her mood. But her eyes didn't become heart shaped.and she hadn't said any "Rukawa-kun, Rukawa-kun." bull. Instead, they saw their friend staring up ahead; concentrating on walking along the sidewalks, focused on not looking at the boy she was crushing on, intent on forgetting about him. Her friends find her behavior odd.  
  
"Haruko, what is wrong with you?" Both girls asked in unison.  
  
"Nothing is wrong with me." She turned to her friends and replied. "Now let's go before we get late."  
  
~*~*~*~ L.U.N.C.H.T.I.M.E.  
  
//This day's going smooth as I planned. Nope, no Rukawa bugging my thoughts. And yes, I TRIED and SUCCEEDED on not even LOOKING at him without being a baka. It's hard, though, but I can manage.//  
  
"Ne, Haruko-chan, you look like you're lost in your thoughts. Is something the matter?" Someone asked from behind her. She turned around in time to see Ayako holding her tray of food. She smiled at her.  
  
"Ie, nothing's wrong. You're having your lunch? You can sit here if you want to." She said.  
  
She spent the whole lunch hour talking with her. She had so much fun chatting with Ayako that she didn't realized it was almost time for her next class.  
  
"Oh no, I'm late for class! I'll just see you later after school ok? I'll be going there because my Oni-chan's taking me out later. See ya!" Haruko said in one sentence.  
  
"Uh, bye?" said Ayako. And off she went to her class.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The rest of the day is uneventful, so I dare not write the story; because I know it will just bore the hell out of you.  
  
~H.A.R.U.K.O.~  
  
'Dear Journal,  
  
Today is a milestone of my life. This is the first time in my high school life that I didn't even BLUSH at seeing that guy Rukawa. Yes, Rukawa. As Sakuragi-kun always says, that Kitsune. Am I finally over him? I do hope so. Chasing him is making me tired. I'm a baka.  
  
I have another story to tell, this afternoon Onii-chan took me out to dinner. Not really a formal one, we just ate out at Wendy's since Oni's a big Scrooge. Actually, he took me out so we could spend more time now, because he will graduate soon and will have to leave home for college. I'll miss him. When he leaves, there'll be only me, Okaasan, and Otousan. It will be very quiet at home. Anyway, we were at the arcade playing House of the Dead (Yeah, I know we played that game thousands of times, but we both like it.!), and then the machine went bonkers. It stopped, and so I called an employee. Something like that. An employee came, a pretty girl went by and asked what the problem is. Oni can't stop himself from staring! He was watching her all throughout the time she was fixing the game. And when she finished, HE ASKED HER OUT! I was SURPRISED! And it wasn't like, "stutter, stutter, can you go out with, stutter, stutter, me?" It was more of. "Wouldyouliketogoutonadatewithme,imean,ifyouwouldn'tmind.It'sokayifyoudontwa ntto,butidohopeyouwantto." .that kind of invitation. And guess what the girl did? SHE BLUSHED and told him to come back later for her answer! And so that's why I'm back here at home, even though it's just 6pm. He went back to the Arcade thingie. I do hope the girl will go out with my brother. It will be too bad for him if she didn't. And it's about time he gets a girl. So he'd stop overprotecting me as if I'm a kid, which is his hobby after basketball. Oh well, my time is up. I have to go to the Nobunaga's (it's just 3 blocks away, and no, not Kiyota's family, but a different one), because I still have a babysitting job. Talk to you later.  
  
Haruko'  
  
Blessed with a well-to-do family, she never ran out of her needs and wants in life. Her room is an example. It was her shrine. Her four poster bed, her lilac-colored bedroom walls, her own television, her sound system, her computer. And her closet chock-full of clothes. Yes, we all know she is girly. But that doesn't mean she's a bimbo. Yet even though they got money, she still has a part-time job, babysitting, only because she loves kids, plus it wouldn't hurt if she earned a little cash for herself, right?  
  
She turned on her sound system and popped in a cd. Little did everyone know, she is a classical music fan, having studied ballet at 5, the piano at 7, and the violin at 10. Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty played in the background, while she fixed up her bedroom before leaving for her job.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
O.N.E. W.E.E.K. L.A.T.E.R.  
  
'Dear Journal,  
  
Just a quick note. I'm treating myself to a day at the mall today after school. Why, you ask? I want to congratulate myself for being successful in my attempt to forget Kitsune!'  
  
She looked at her writing. //Kitsune sounds good. Besides, I hear that a lot from Sakuragi-kun. A perfect name for him.// She smiled and continued to write.  
  
'Oh well, a day at the mall would be fine, right? I'll treat myself by buying me stuffs. and I'll stop by the arcade place later, check out Keiko.maybe Oni-chan is there. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you, The pretty employer's name is Keiko, and she actually WENT OUT with him! 0.o;; I'll tell you the rest later.  
  
And before I forget, one weird thing happened this morning, though. I was with Fuji and we were walking down the hallway at school on the way to the library when I passed by, eherm, speaking of the devil, Rukawa. He was heading my way, and so I looked to my right side, which is where Fuji is, so I won't see him. Fuji was puzzled. She looked at me, then Rukawa, and then looked at me with a more puzzled look. As we went inside the library, Fuji exclaimed (in a quiet manner, yet it's still classified as exclaim). "Did I just see what I just saw???!!!" I looked at her as if she's making a fool out of herself. Then she told me in a half-whisper (because the librarian was GLARING at us), "You and Rukawa crossed paths. and you did NOT blush, acted like a fool or even LOOKED at him!" I just shrugged. And then she added, "When I turned and looked at him, I SAW HIM LOOK AT YOU. PUZZLED. HE WAS PUZZLED. His face registered E-M-O-T-I-O-N. It must have meant SOMEthing, because, he turned his head and LOOKED AT YOU." At first I felt I still had hope. That he was FINALLY noticing me. But then I remembered my promise to myself. No more Rukawa in my life. I'm so sick and tired of waiting for things like this to happen. No more. And with a shrug, I just told my friend, "Who cares?"'  
  
She placed her pen down, and exclaimed, "Yeah, who cares, anyway? He's just a player at school. He's just a boy. He just looked at me. Who cares? I don't." She laughed nervously. Somehow, she felt odd. //Does that really mean something? That I still might have hope? Whatever it is?// Somehow, she's not sure what to answer.  
  
She closed her journal, replaced it on her desk, took out her coat, and headed out.  
  
She left her confused thoughts behind, and concentrated on that skirt she'd been pining on for weeks. Plus she would hunt for several blouses that would match the skirt. And she might also look for a perfect pair of sandals for it. And maybe some accessories..  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~R.U.K.A.W.A.~  
  
It was almost 6pm when he arrived home. As usual, his parents weren't home. His dad went out of the country for "office matters" 2 days ago, and his mom is, of course, how could he have forgotten? She was out on a business party. Only his 8 year old sister Kenna and the babysitter were home. The sitter left soon after Rukawa arrived, mumbling about something that she was only supposed to be here until 5pm, and that she was to charge them for another hour. //Whatever.// he thought. He went by the living room where his sister is playing.  
  
"Oni-chan!" Kenna exclaimed as she saw her big brother. She rushed to him and gave him the biggest bearhug she could give. Rukawa on the other hand gave out a small, inconspicuous smile. "Oooh, I'm so tanoshi because you're here now! You don't know how HORRIBLE Tana can be!" Kenna said, and then launched into telling him her day with her "boring" sitter.  
  
Tana is the babysitter who just left. For some reason, though Tana is the typical babysitter, the one who just looks after kids to earn money, and has nothing against kids, Kenna really hates her and does not enjoy her company, though Tana's been looking after her for about a year now.  
  
All the time Rukawa was quiet. (Nothing new here). He was lost in his thoughts.  
  
"Nii-chan!!!!!!!!!" However, his sister's voice shook him out of his stupor.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Let's go have some ice cream! And while we're at it, let's go to the arcade place!"  
  
"There's ice cream by the fridge, and we have a Playstation and other game things."  
  
"But it's BORING in here!"  
  
"I'm sleepy."  
  
"I'm bored."  
  
"I'm sleepy."  
  
"I'm BORED!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Zzzzzz."  
  
"Aaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kenna shouted at the top of her lungs. This woke the Kitsune up.  
  
"Aright. Alright!" Rukawa said, as he stood up from the couch.  
  
"Yay!!! We'll go get ice cream first, then we'll go to the arcade place, and then I wanna eat some fries, so let's stop by McDonalds too."  
  
"Yeah, whatever. Just shut up."  
  
"Yay!!!!!!"  
  
And so the two Rukawas went to the mall.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It so happened that Rukawa and his sister were at the same mall that Haruko was in. And at the same arcade place.  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
A/N: Nyahahahaha!!!!!! I'm evil! Yes I'm evil!!! Evil author!!! Cliffhanger!!! HAHAHAHAHA!! As much as I hate reading fics with evil authors that end their chapters with cliffhangers, I really have to do this, because stupid kuyas which are pain in the arses for the youngest children needs to use the computer. Which means my time is up. Plus I'm running out of ideas and things to I did this fic today (9Dec02) in 6 hours, and haven't done any spellchecking yet. So please read and review. Please please please.!!!  
  
Comments, suggestions, flames and even death threat's fine with me! Send me mail: kennakoishii@hotmail.com  
  
Japanese terms:  
  
tsumetai aoi me - cold, blue eyes ohayo - good morning ie - no kitsune - fox tanoshi - happy  
  
Arigatou, my freakishly gay tomodachi, Atsushi Takahashi for helping me with the Japanese words. Don't worry, I wont bully you no more. . . PROMISE 


End file.
